Chicago and the Endless Plains
Hey everybody,
For the first six weeks I was doing pretty well. I was trying to stay active, I was busy, I kept the food under control… so I lost 10 pounds. Ok, maybe the nutrition wasn’t of the highest levels, maybe a diet of almonds and kimchee noodle bowls isn’t the greatest… it’s temporary. Then the last two weeks happened. 14 days in a row of staying with friends. Celebratory beers, venison, German pancakes, social beers, pub food, Chicago restaurants, steaks, and, of course, goodbye beers. And now we’re back to where we started plus a couple of pounds. My point is this: Friends make you fat. Have you ever seen a fat hermit? The Unabomber… skin and bones. It’s a fact. I believe I have just scientifically proven this.
Last time I left you I was on the road to Indianapolis for the sole purpose of visiting Katy and Chris whom I hadn’t seen in four years. The whole Indianapolis downtown had a makeover prior to last year’s Super Bowl so there’s a lot more going on than there was a couple of years ago. Still, I don’t know that there are many other reasons to go to Indianapolis other than visiting friends or business. Maybe a Colts game, except now they kind of suck. Nothing against the city, I just don’t think it’s a big tourist destination, especially with Chicago relatively closeby. But it was great to see those guys and we ate at a diner featured on Guy Fieri’s show where the waitress took 45 minutes to take our order. Good food though.
The Four Seasons by Marc Chagall Chicago is where I headed next. I hit traffic on the outskirts of town and it took me over an hour to get to Jimmy’s house. Also, it was 95 degrees. Welcome to Chicago! But the upshot of cities that heat up in the summer are the outdoor terraces at bars and restaurants. Sitting outside enjoying dinner and drinks with friends… this is something people take for granted if they don’t live in San Francisco, where you also can sit outside in the summer as long as the restaurant has heat lamps and you’re wearing 4 layers, a scarf and a beanie. Anyhow, I love Chicago. It’s a big, beautiful, diverse city with some of the greatest architecture in the U.S. Jim took me on a two-hour architecture tour of downtown, not only showing me some of the more significant buildings but going into detail about their histories. The first skyscraper in the world, the Sears tower, the Chicago board of trade, the first solid steel exterior building… Jimmy you should forget the product management and go into tourism development for the city. Take a look at the pictures and you’ll see what I’m talking about. It was Jim’s last weekend in Chicago before moving back to the bay area (that’s the thing to do nowadays) so we traveled all around town, went out with friends, watched the Euros at a local bar, and also Jimmy’s car overheated. We were pulled over to the side of the road looking under the hood when Jimmy shakes his head, looks at me and says, “You’re not putting this in your blog are you?” I said, “No… no… of course not.” But the overall most amazing occurrence of the Chicago weekend was finding out that Jimmy has been dating somebody for more than 90 days. My world has lost its compass.
Moving from Chicago, IL (population 2.7 million) to New Windsor, IL (population 800) takes only three hours, not counting Chicago traffic. Larry was waiting for me wearing a gray tank top with a steak on the grill. I have to admit, I was bummed that it wasn’t the red tank top but Larry said he only wears those in Haiti, which I fear may be causing widespread psychological scarring among Haitian youth. Anyway, I’m trying to avoid the obvious statement that Chicago and New Windsor are galaxies apart, not only because New Windsor measures 11 streets by 7 streets and has a rodeo but because there’s no way I could get a solo tour of a Chicago firehouse without being arrested for trespassing. Dude… I got to use a thermal imager! Then we sat out on Larry and Jean’s patio, drinking Prestige and chatting into the night. It was a fantastic evening in the country. I really have to give my love and thanks not only to Larry and Jean but to all my friends who hosted me during this two-week period… you guys are awesome. Except you made me fat.
And then it was back to solo travelin’ baby! First stop… Iowa. The true highlight was Iowa 80, the world’s largest truck stop. It has a dentist! And swords! And the best restrooms in the country! Beyont that, the best thing I can say about driving across Iowa is that at some point it ends. Unfortunately, it then turns into South Dakota. There’s about 800 miles of driving across these two states that is an endless, mind-numbing, at times coma-inducing stretch of corn. Then grass. Then… ooh! Corn! The wind, up to 80 mph in the summer, subtracts about 7 or 8 miles per gallon off your gas mileage. Tumbleweeds cross your path. You find yourself passing the time by counting the number of billboards for Wall Drug along I-90. Then you lose count because their numbers are beyond the capabilities of the human mind to compute. That is until you reach the southwest part of South Dakota, which is where the only part of the state that I saw that they crammed anything that may be interesting to humans.
Of course I had to stop at Wall Drug, which shows that you don’t need subliminal advertising, simply volume. You can’t really call it a drug store, it’s more like a one square block general store that sells everything stupid that you would expect a humongous general store that hosts up to 20,000 per day in the summer and is in the middle of nowhere to sell, along with a dinosaur exhibit, a giant jackalope, and a movie on the history of Wall Drug. I guess if you promote yourself enough you can create enough of a myth about yourself that people go out of their way to see you and eventually your own history (which you manufactured) becomes an item of interest for people. It’s genius.
I had a date though… A date with destiny. A showdown with the great emancipator himself. Only one of us could come out on top. Mount Rushmore was the scene. Whose beard would reign supreme? That’s for you to decide (but the correct answer is me). I will say that seeing four huge heads carved out of the side of a mountain is waaaay more impressive in person than it would be on any postcard. I used to think that Teddy Roosevelt didn’t belong in the company of the other three (Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln), but now I believe that the creation of the National Parks system was one of the great achievements of any president. If not for him there’d probably be tract homes in Yellowstone and strip malls at Acadia.
From there I continued west through Sturgis, the site of the huge motorcycle rally, and on into Wyoming. The landscape finally improved through southwest South Dakota and into Wyoming as the elevation changed and the flat plains turned into rolling hills. Even the interstate highway in Wyoming is beautiful, and I took a detour to see Devil’s Tower national monument, the tall, flat-topped monolith which most people know from the film Close Encounters. Strangely, it’s one of those natural wonders that looks much more impressive from a distance. I think its mystique lies in the fact that it’s so different from its surroundings which is difficult to tell from up close. Nevertheless… it’s pretty awesome. And that’s about as far as I’ve gotten into Wyoming. Tomorrow, all roads lead to Yellowstone.
Take ‘er easy,
Dave